Love is Complicated

I think we all owe a debt of gratitude to Beyonce and Jay-Z for opening up their personal marital struggles to the world. So often we look at celebrities and we only see the money and the beauty without the struggles the rest of us seem to face. They are breaking down those barriers by talking about stuff that is, well frankly, freaking embarrassing as hell. Being cheated on. Breaking vows. Giving in to baser desires and hurting your loved ones. This is deep stuff we are all looking at here with the release of Jay-Z’s 4:44.

If this successful couple can come out and be vulnerable when they have so many reasons they don’t have to, you have to respect that, and try to learn from it.

I’m not big into celebrity talk and all of that. I don’t think I’ve posted more than a few celebrity centered blogs in the 15 years I’ve been blogging. But this particular situation brings up something that I am always blogging about and forever fascinated with: the psychology of love, desire, and promises.

From my perspective – based on my own life experiences, and writing about love for a while, I feel like a few things are happening here when it comes to the psychology of love:

1 – When Beyonce used her art to talk about Jay-Z cheating she took back some of her power she probably felt she lost when she found out he cheated. And it was something to behold.

2 – Women are going to lash out at Jay-Z, not only because he hurt their beloved Beyonce, but it’s also scary, personally. It’s unnerving because here we are, just your average citizens, and there is this paragon of Goddessy art and beauty – and she got cheated on.  It makes it feel like it’s not possible to avoid being cheated on if there are any cracks at all in the trust of a relationship.

3 – Women who cheated with Jay-Z are possibly the sort who get a power surge from it. Imagine if the man who belongs to, sleeps with, and has children with, a woman who is considered one of the most beautiful, talented, and powerful women in popular culture–chooses to risk his vows and his family because he’s so attracted to you–that’s heady stuff! Aside from Jay-Z being a powerful and rich man himself, but to feel like you out-did Beyonce in some way–that could be part of rush of doing that.

4 – In offering up his confessions and apologies in such a public way, it’s giving a little power back to Beyonce in the form of support and validation. But it’s also setting an example for men who might be in a place where they are trying to decide what’s right and wrong in relationships where things are promised. If this is the nudge they need to stay on the side of the line that honors their relationship and their partner, then I think Jay-Z has done a great service to many couples out there by laying his sins bare.

And as is stated in “Red Archer” – promises don’t really mean anything when they’re easy to keep. Promises only mean something when they are hard to keep.

 

 

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