Walking Towards the Sun

 

Like most people, my life has had a lot of ups and downs. Though the first years of the 2010s decade sucked and my life felt totally upside-down, my heart was broken into a million bits, the end of this decade was much happier. I got married. Bought a house. Have been spending more time talking to my daughters and sister. I have wonderful neighbors and am in a cute town. I have a muggle job I like and I started a authors’ salon as well as a book festival, which has connected me with many wonderful women writers. These things have all been blessings. I’ve had downs in there, too. Some health issues. Depression. Anxiety. But overall, these past couple of years have been good.

I do this thing, this thing were if my life is going well I expect something terrible to happen. Even writing that makes me a little superstitious, like I’m asking for trouble. But I’ve worked on getting past those things. One big helper is writing down all the stuff I worry about and much later looking at it to see how many of the awful things came true. Usually not many.

I’ve always had a hard time letting go. But ya know what? I’ve gotten better at it. This quote (the one in the image) by Mary Engelbreit has always spoken to me. Looking back is very important to helping us grow, learning from our mistakes, and seeing where we don’t want to be. What we don’t want to do is keep looking back at hurts and wrongs and feeding energy into them. Giving them energy makes them more alive and it’s harder to get distance on them. In my Red August series Faolan does a lot of looking back and it makes him stunted in his ability to see anything beyond and therefore hope for anything more.

I don’t want to be stunted. I want to grow and learn. Though my growth is going to look a lot different than it would have at the beginning of previous decades, I’m looking ahead. Walking down paths that have light at the end of them whenever I can find them. I’m not talking about being sunny and positive all the time, I’m talking about letting go of hurt, knowing my worth, and not meditating on the negative.

Let’s start off the next decade walking towards the sun.

 

 

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