Quiet a Spectacle

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I will hold you, quietly. I can be still long enough to listen to your pain. I’m not good at being still. You know this. You know. I think that’s why my embracing still moments mean so much to you … because you know.

I had an epiphany about myself yesterday. A realization. And it was such a simple answer, I was certain I must have realized it some time in the past. I thought about the times I’d been embraced by somebody, only for them to get close long enough to see my utter humaneness, and then walk away. I thought this meant I was bad at love. Now I realize it’s more about the ideal of me not matching up with the reality of me. And you never did that to me. You always understood. It’s amazing to be truly seen that way.

The essence of it all? You understand why the things that matter to me–matter to me. You also understand that I am an embodiment of celebration. Even my quietness can be a spectacle. I think that comes off like obsession, or possessiveness, to some people. And in all truth, I was possessive in my first marriage. I was jealous in that life I once led. I was a teenager when we met. And that was a difficult twenty years. I grew in that time, particularly starting around my early thirties. I know the difference between excitement and jealousy, between celebration and possession. I know it for myself, even if others don’t. And you know, maybe that’s why I can appreciate the abundant trust I am now the recipient of, because I know how rare it is.

I’m trying to get over that fear of being misunderstood. You really help with that, did you know? Because even though I’ve read that Anaïs Nin quote a million times, it really sunk in yesterday. It isn’t that my love is wrong, it’s that my love is viewed through the filter of others. It’s about the way they experience my love that makes it work, or not work. Its about their past relationships and what they learned.

Maybe at some point I can stop writing and vlogging about being afraid to be misunderstood, and that will be the measure of when I am cured of that concern.

 

Red August Quote – Healing

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Find out where to order Red August HERE

Red August Quote – Heart Holes

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Find out where to order Red August HERE

Red August Quotes – Paths

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Find places to order Red August HERE

Raven Heights Radio – Red August – Episode 48

Red August will be available August 19th on Kindle – and if all goes according to plan, a variety of other platforms as well!  You can find out where to buy Red August at www.hlbrooks.com as soon as the links become available.

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Erica of Raven Heights Radio

As I posted in a quickie post yesterday, I was a guest on Raven Heights Radio.

I wanted to go ahead and do a little episode guide of sorts, to provide links about things that Erica and I discussed, as well as clarify a few points.  Because, as I stated in the episode, being misunderstood is kind of my kryptonite.

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I DO realize that some people make it their MISSION to misunderstand people, so those are NOT the folks I’m worried about.  So long as I do my best to be clear, I know I’ve done my part.

Before I want to get on with the links I want to make it clear that I don’t think there is anything wrong with classic romance where the guy saves the girl.  Romance is a fantasy world, and particularly fairy tales have that element.  Those are the stories I fell in love with and I still like those kinds of stories.  People rescue each other all of the time.  And I think if you look at the underlying elements of many romance stories – even if on the surface it seems like the guy swoops in and saves the day – you will see that people just rescue each other in different ways and sometimes the swooping is mutual.  For my part, in Red Riding Hood, I wanted to take the story of the little girl who was warned about going through the woods and turn it on its ear.  Whether I manage to do that, remains to be seen in the court of public opinion.  But whatever others bring to the story and read into it, that was my intention.  There is a possibility in the future that I will write a more classic “guy rescues girl” scenario – and there ARE elements of that in Red August – we don’t exist inside of a bubble, after all.  Relationships are built on mutual helping and understanding.  Whatever your tastes, somebody is writing it. There are many wonderful writers of romance out there to fill every type of story fantasy you could wish for, so go forth and find them.  Look for them on twitter and Instagram.  They want you to read their stories and you want to read them – what better match is there than that?

STUFF RELATED TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE!

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Fast Time on VHS!

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Genre Guideline Links

Sub-genres of Romance

What is Erotic Romance?

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Sex Positive Links

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Joy of Sex 1972 – Man, everybody’s parents had one of these.

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I was going to say the two types were the top 40 and rock – but also rap was just starting to come out and I was fascinated by that as well.  I listened to Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Blondie, Queen, Billy Idol, John Cougar (no Mellencamp), Heart, Billy Joel, Sugarhill Gang, Olivia Newton John, Comodores, Hall & Oates…man the list just goes on and on.   Everybody who liked any kind of popular music would not miss Casey’s Top 40.  I’ve found that through the magic of the interwebz we can listen to a whole episode from July 24, 1982 – 33 years ago! WHUT!?  Even though it doesn’t have the full songs (I guess they can’t) but it’s got the commercials and everything!  Talk about flashbacks!  There is no doubt I was laying in my room on my bed under all of my music posters listening to this on my radio.  After I listen to this I’m going to have to make a mix tape and go make-out with my boyfriend.

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WHFS – DC (Historic)

HFS – Baltimore – you can listen online (but it ain’t exactly the same, tho!)

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George Lucas and Star Wars

This was written in 2014 —

“In 1978, Star Wars won seven Academy Awards. But if you want to watch that original version, the first of George Lucas’s soon to be seven-part saga, you’ll find it difficult. In fact, it’s actually impossible to buy an official copy of Star Wars as it was first released. Lucas doesn’t want you to see that version. Instead, he wants you to watch the continuously updated special editions—movies with added CGI, changed sound effects, and whole new scenes.”  READ MORE AT THEATLANTIC.COM

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As an example of the discussion over the digital work on the original movies, which birthed the controversy – Han Shot First.

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Jedi Academy at Disneyland

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After the show the featured song (which is really good, y’all!) – Slow Motion by The Jesters