Sometimes I just want to dig a little hole in the sand and wiggle in and cover myself. It’s odd how much the opinions of others can affect me sometimes. And I get (and have) a lot of opinions online. Sometimes, when I kind of admire somebody, or respect them, and something awkward happens, I just want to NOPE out of all interactions with the outside world and curl up into a blanket burrito with my cat.
I’ve been saying I wanted to scale back my social media forever. I have in some ways over the past two years, but it’s still way too present in my life. I’ve had recent arguments online in groups that are supposedly like-minded in goals and lifestyle. I left those groups last week. I’ve read most of my news online. And stay in touch with friends that way.
Today I went to check out the wall of a fellow author and newer FB friend who I’d had some nice interactions with, and it appears as though she blocked me, and I have no idea why. At first I was thinking I would write to a mutual friend and ask if they knew why. But when somebody blocks you, they have their reasons and they don’t owe you an explanation, so I came here to write and think about it and figure out a system to move past these things. I do take it on heavily when stuff like this happens, like I did something bad or wrong and tell myself stories about not being a worthy person. But I have to find ways to get past that QUICKLY, because spinning my wheels about why somebody doesn’t like me has already eaten half of my life. I used to think confronting issues and communicating was the best way to handle things like this. Like, if I could know why she blocked me and discuss it there would surely be a misunderstanding in there and we could clear it up and everybody would feel better. But at this point in my life, maybe it’s better to just let people have their view of me (informed or not), and for ME to find a way to just be ok with whatever it is they think. Clearly communication isn’t an option, but even if it was, is that how I should spend my time?
So, in the end I took it as a really good sign that I should scale way back off of online interactions because that is a place things often go sideways. I should instead put my energy into my blog. My websites. My books. My other job. My family. And real in-person time with friends.
I’ve said these things before. And each year they become truer. Will this be the time I have some success?
My friend suggested I take the Facebook app off of my phone. I’m going to try that to see if it helps.
Have you been scaling back your personal time on social media? What has worked for you?
Do you have a way of dealing with these kinds of hurtful and awkward situations?
What kinds of things do you want to do to make your life a little richer in 2020?